The Hair Pin
by Aspire2B
Summary: Yona and Hak's true feelings revolving around the infamous hair pin.


**_Yona_**

It had a sizable weight for something so small.

There was also a great history behind the tiny ornament, too long to tell in one sitting, too painful to voice aloud. Yet, she keeps it anyways.

To a stranger's eye this hairpin would be a luxury.

The gold and gems encrusted into it were worth more than the average civilian would earn in a life time. For Yona, it didn't represent wealth or beauty. It had a dual pin was a symbol of a foolish love and death.

She didn't love him anymore.

How could she? He had betrayed her but more importantly he had betrayed her father, murdered the uncle who had always shown him nothing but kindness.

A part of her wonders why he even bothered giving her something so beautiful only to stain its memory in blood hours later.

Was it meant to be some sort of inadequate apology for the events that took place later that night? Did he simply take pleasure in twisting her grateful smile into a grimace of agony?

She couldn't make sense of it.

She couldn't make sense of him.

Soo-Won had held her heart for so many years and in a single night mercilessly tore it to shreds. Yona had truly believed that, out of everyone, she knew him best. They were family.

One day, far in the future, when the memories are less vivid, when the pain becomes bearable, she may be able to look at him without being reminded of his sins. However, she knows nothing will ever be the same again; her feelings or their lives.

And that's why she still lugs this cursed thing around like a ball and chain.

For all the hateful and sorrowful things it represents, it is also something that allows her to dream about what could have been; her once ideal world.

No matter how hard she wishes, Yona knows that nothing can alter the past. She is a changed person now.

This new version of Yona, the warrior princess, wouldn't go back in time; even to erase her heart ache.

Nevertheless, looking at this unassuming piece of jewelry she could indulge in moments of fantasy.

She can go back to a time where her ignorance was bliss and her only problem was unruly red hair. In her imagination Soo-Won could still be the man she had thought he was; kind, gentle, loyal and honorable.

She could see the three of them, still friends, so clearly that it made her heart constrict.

No matter the pain she feels every time she looks at it, she can't give up on the small, smiling boy her cousin once was.

 _ **Hak**_

Boiling hot rage, he couldn't help this instinctual reaction every time he saw it.

In spite of everything Soo-Won had done, Yona still kept that wretched thing. If she still had feelings for him, it wasn't his place to say anything but Hak would never forgive him.

He couldn't even be for certain that, upon seeing Soo-Won, his glaive wouldn't find its way into the traitorous king's heart.

A small part of that anger came from hurt.

Soo-Won had fooled so many people with his false innocence. And as his best friend, Hak could not believe he hadn't noticed. He knew that his intuition was stellar but he had been completely blind-sided by innate trust.

All the time they had spent training together, confiding in each other, was any of it real?

The betrayal ran deep and still stung.

It wasn't only that he couldn't forgive Soo-Won; he was struggling to forgive himself.

Every time he saw that dreaded hair pin, saw the princess's face crumble, a small pin prick of self loathing hit.

He hated that he had been so ready entrust Yona, the person he placed above all others, to that miserable excuse of a human being.

He was far less concerned about himself.

He could come to terms with Soo-Won destroying their friendship. But he would never pardon him for what he did to Yona; breaking her heart, killing her father, and exiling her from her rightful place in the palace.

Soo-Won would never realize the extent of how his actions had damaged her.

On the other hand, Hak knew the memories of her crying would be burned into his mind for as long as he lived.

She had started off openly sobbing, collapsing into his arms and she broke down, but as time went on she got better at hiding it. But he knew. At night, sometimes, he would see her shoulders tremor. And those types of tears always frightened him more.

When he saw that pin, every wound was torn open again. The worst part about it all was he didn't know how to ease her grief.

If he was honest, the selfish part of him, wanted to erase Soo-Won from her memory completely; the good and the bad.

Why couldn't she let go of him?

Even if Soo-Won did not have Yona's heart he still occupied her thoughts, the traitor's existence was still larger his own.

Hak couldn't help but feel that he was losing on all fronts.

His hatred for Soo-Won was only matched by his jealously, a deadly combination.

He had promised himself long ago that he wouldn't allow his feelings to influence his actions when it came to the princess. But that was a promise he had already broken many times over.

He was protective, watchful, possessive, and suspicious of anyone who looked her way and it had little to do with being her bodyguard.

At times, he became so frustrated with her. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and demand why he wasn't as good as Soo-Won, beg her to tell him how he could become something more than just a childhood friend.

He had hinted at his feelings several times but she was too naive to notice. There was no way he could ever tell her either.

Unlike Soo-Won, he refused to burden her. Yona's life was already difficult enough. The last thing she needed was another person to be wary of. So no matter what desire, pain or anger he felt, he would keep silent. He would watch as that pin, a grim reminder of the past, continued to plague them in the present.

And they both would suffer in their respective ways.


End file.
